A World Cruel
by inca-dove
Summary: HijikataOkita: AU. Okita, mortally wounded in battle, speaks his final words to his love.


Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own any of these characters, they belong to other people. I do, however, own a little Okita doll if that counts. Oh yeah, and the song is Metallica's "Unforgiven II," so I don't own that either.   
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: They're just too much of a beautiful couple that I just couldn't keep away from it. I love Okita to pieces, so this was way hard to write. ::sniff, sniff::  
  
  
  
  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
  
  
  
  
A World Cruel   
  
  
  
  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
  
  
  
  
Okita laid down, his clothing soaked through. It felt like he was swimming, swimming in a pool of blood. His blood. His own lifeline slowly leaking away to revitalize the earth from which it came. He didn't want to go yet, but he knew his time was up. A pained smile crossed his face as he wished for nothing more than to be in the arms of the one he loved. He resisted the weariness that fought to take over his body. His own eye lids wanted nothing more than to close forever.   
  
  
  
  
  
He couldn't feel his limbs anymore, as the numbness had already settled in and brought his pain to a crashing halt.   
  
  
  
  
  
He only wanted to see him one last time. Was it so much to ask for one to die being held by the one you loved?  
  
  
  
  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lay beside me, tell me what they've done  
  
Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run  
  
The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true  
  
If you can understand the me, than I can understand the you  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
Hijikata quickly slashed down another foe who sought out to fight against him, bringing the pitiful man's life to an end. His mind wasn't on the battle around him however. His thoughts kept wondering to where Okita had wondered off to. He almost hated to admit it, but he was worried about Okita's welfare. When they had been separated, Okita hadn't looked in too good of shape.   
  
  
  
  
  
Taking a quick look around him and mentally counting the number of enemies still left standing, Hijikata turned to strike against another. He would just have to wait to look for Okita.  
  
  
  
  
  
He just hoped Okita was fine, wherever he was.   
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lay beside me, under wicked sky  
  
The black of day, dark of night, we share this paralyze  
  
The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through  
  
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through  
  
No, there's no sun shining through  
  
No, there's no sun shining...  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
A silent tear traced its way down Okita's cheek and landed in the crimson river below. So this was what it was like to die alone. To die with the knowledge that he had never told the one he cared most for that he loved him.   
  
  
  
  
  
Gathering what strength he had left, Okita lifted himself off the unforgiving ground and into a standing position. If it was his fate to die, then he would die doing what he did best. He wouldn't fall just yet, there were still more lives his katana could bring to an end.   
  
  
  
  
  
Half leaning against the wall beside him, Okita stumbled out of the alley he had only moments before thought of as his grave site.  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
What I've felt, what I've known  
  
Turn the pages, turn the stone  
  
Behind the door, should I open it for you....  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
The unnamed men's bodies fell to their deaths by Hijikata's blood stained katana. Their bodies never again allowed to walk along the living.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hijikata sheathed his katana after giving it a fast cleaning. There were no more men standing in the way of him looking for Okita, so he left their cold bodies to rot.  
  
  
  
  
  
He turned in the direction he had last seen Okita walk off to, but stopped cold at the site that greeted his gaze. He had to take a second to collect his thoughts before he slowly started towards the man who seemed on the verge of death.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hijikata's hesitant pace took on a more desperate speed the closer he got to the dying man.   
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
What I've felt, what I've known  
  
Sick and tired, I stand alone  
  
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you  
  
Or are you unforgiven too?  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
Okita's world spun around him, but he didn't want to give up, he couldn't give up. He lifted his hazy gaze up to his surroundings and tried to steady his shaking form. The weight on his legs seemed to be too much for his battered self as his legs gave out from underneath him, causing him to crumble helplessly to the ground below.  
  
  
  
  
  
And that was when Okita Souji gave up on life, when he accepted the darkness that would come.   
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear  
  
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again  
  
She lay beside me, But she'll be there when I'm gone  
  
Black heart scarring darker still, yes she'll be there when I'm gone  
  
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone  
  
Dead sure she'll be there...  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
Hijikata stopped in dumbfounded shock as Okita fell to the ground, unsure whether or not his companion still lived. A raw fear, something he didn't feel very often, coursed threw his veins, bringing his every nerve on edge.   
  
  
  
  
  
"No . . ." He whispered into the cool breeze as his heart lodged itself into his throat.  
  
  
  
  
  
Okita . . .?  
  
  
  
  
  
Without wasting another moment, Hijikata sprang back to life and kneeled down next to his dying Okita. He lifted Okita so that his head was cradled in the crook of his arm, his other hand reaching out to clasp Okita's cold one in it.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Souji?" His voice soft and holding nothing more than care.   
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
What I've felt, what I've known  
  
Turn the pages, turn the stone  
  
Behind the door, should I open it for you....  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
Okita vaguely registered the warmth that surrounded him as he opened his dull lavender eyes. A truly happy smile played at his lips when his gaze focused on face that was connected to where the warmth was coming from.   
  
  
  
  
  
"You came."   
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
What I've felt, what I've known  
  
Sick and tired, I stand alone  
  
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you  
  
Or are you unforgiven too?  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
Hijikata couldn't breath, it was as if the air was being restrained from reaching his lungs. His grip on Okita's still form intensified, as if that would be enough to keep him from slipping away.   
  
  
  
  
  
Unchecked tears fell from Hijikata's eyes as he whispered out, almost desperately, "Of course I came. You didn't believe I wouldn't did you? I'm here Souji, I'll always be here . . ."  
  
  
  
  
  
Breathing in a ragged breath, Hijikata laid his head to rest against Okita's; forehead to forehead.   
  
  
  
  
  
"I'll always be here."  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lay beside me, tell me what I've done  
  
The door is closed, so are you're eyes  
  
But now I see the sun, now I see the sun  
  
Yes now I see it  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
Okita lifted his free hand to Hijikata's cheek, tracing the curves on his face. Memorizing every thing about his face, so that he would always remember in the afterlife what his love looked and felt like. If only there was a little more time, then maybe he could have lived his life along side the man his heart was bounded to.  
  
  
  
  
  
There was a sudden clarity to his thoughts then, no longer was his mind fuzzy to the world around him. He was going to die, true. But in the end, he knew he would die happy.   
  
  
  
  
  
Looking at the man who held him so tenderly to his chest, Okita murmured quietly, "I love you . . ."  
  
  
  
  
  
Okita's eyes slowly closed themselves to the world for the last time.   
  
  
  
  
  
But he was finally happy.  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
What I've felt, what I've known  
  
Turn the pages, turn the stone  
  
Behind the door, should I open it for you....  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
  
  
A sob racked his shoulders as he heard Okita's last words. It couldn't be true, it wasn't meant to end this way. Never this way.  
  
  
  
  
  
Crushing Okita's broken body to his own, Hijikata said the words he had been denying himself to say for far too long, "I love you too, Souji."   
  
  
  
  
  
Burrowing his head into Okita's shoulder, Hijikata let the tears flow freely from his eyes. Not bothering to brush them away as they fell and collected on Okita's shoulder. Even as his heart broke into a million pieces, he didn't let go of Okita. Even as Okita's body lost all warmth, he didn't let go.  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
What I've felt, what I've known  
  
Sick and tired, I stand alone  
  
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits,  
  
The one who waits for you....  
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
The morning's light slowly peaked over the buildings tops, greeting a new day. Spreading its light and warmth through the cold. The sky shortly after turning brilliant shades of crystalline blue and soft pink.   
  
  
  
  
  
Hijikata lifted his head, and let the light splay over his face. Looking back down at Okita, a lonely and mournful smile came to his lips as he spoke gently,  
  
  
  
  
  
"The skies beautiful Souji, you would have loved it."   
  
  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
  
  
Oh what I've felt, what I've known  
  
Turn the pages, turn the stone  
  
Behind the door, should I open it for you.... (So I dub thee unforgiven....)  
  
Oh, what I've felt....  
  
Oh, what I've known....  
  
I take this key (never free...)  
  
And I bury it (never me...) in you  
  
Because you're unforgiven too....  
  
Never free....  
  
Never me....  
  
'Cause you're unforgiven too....  
  
Oh  
  
  
  
  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
  
  
  
  
The end . . .  
  
  
  
  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
  
  
  
  
fanfic by inca_dove  
  
  
  
T_T;; yes, I am procrastinating . . . 


End file.
